TOYING AROUND WITH GENDER--BARBIE--
When you see or hear this name mentioned, what does it mean to you? Inspite of all the contraversies, protests, bans, mutilations, incinerations, and parodies from its very appearance in 1959--Barbie still endures unto this very day. This doll simply refuses to go away. Generation after generation passes on by as customers continue the Barbie products to buy. When just a young lad, Malibu Barbie was the first one that I ever had.  It  motivated me to research as much information about its origin, impact on personal, professional, and academic lives as an adult.  This doll stirred me as a child into adulthood to explore the internet, express my views about toys, and  try new things.  My lunch money had been secretly saved up for about three weeks by me. This toy was purchased at my first opportunity. I simply knew what this boy had to do from the very moment my eyes had looked upon her so new just lying there. Why should for her that a twelve year old would so much care? This is something that compels me to share. Never before had a Barbie my eyes ever seen until wondering into the aisle of pink. It mattered not what what others did think because through logical analysis my mind had concluded that this male had every right to be there. However, my parent had seen things quite differently. Having had been scolded and pulled away only had made me more determined in my point of view to stay. In my mind, these toys were for both girls and boys. For everyone they tore up, I bought one more or two. If they had just let me be then maybe I would Barbies finaly outgrew too. Alas, they wouldn't let me explain but simply derided and so oft had complained. Only to my home had I, the youngest child, been confined while my older brothers had jobs or places to go. So most of my life ,when not in school, up until the later teens were at home with no other friends mostly spent. It had been a welcome break when to a department store or on a vaction trip I ever went. Family time was mostly hardwork, homework, and regular everyday chores. There seemed for me no one in whom very serious incidents in my life to confide. So into the darkness of my silent world did this person abide. All the girls in my first elementary schools of Gibsonia liked me until fourth grade when we had to move to another state. The girls up until college alienated me for their own superficial reasons. It was on an elementary school bus in this new state that my eyes ever had seen a pornagraphic photo. My hormones were in a frenzy. This happened before ever seeing a Barbie. In the boys bathroom of the gym two male class mates sexually assaulted and molested me. There had been a multitude of mixed feelings where only in that silent world this twelve year old had to with them deal. However, these incidents didn't make me question my masculinity or gender. Why should my like of baby dolls, Barbie dolls, doll houses, GI Joes, action figures, Hot Wheels, model airplanes, metal scale model cars, and comic books make me now as then feel less of a masculine male? The power of a toy truly is in the hands of the girl or boy. From before the age of twelve I wanted to be a father, husband, and own my own home. It seemed natural to have the desire to cuddle baby dolls and play house besides playing war with my action figures, basketball, horse shoes, with my cars, and all. For my career I chose the field of construction from pipe, concrete, framing, asphault, drywall, to siding. I'm married and rent my own home. I've never had a criminal record. So why does having a certain type of toy carry so much weight with what people assume about an individual they don't personally even know? Would you assume that your neighbor's a mechanic because he always seems to have several cars jacked up with cinderblocks around his garage? 

TOYING AROUND WITH GENDER------------continued
I find the term "tomboy" to be incorrect. females who like to play with "Match Box" or "Hot Wheels"; model trains; model airplanes; GI Joes or action figures; and even climb trees doesn't make them males. It is a term that excludes females from so called "normal" females. Is it not a fact that parents want these same little girls to become old enough to drive real cars; ride real trains; fly on real airplanes; and to date or marry real GI Joes or regular guys? To not allow them to play with these toys if they so desire shows the hypocracy in their parenting. "Do as I say but not as I do." The example set by the parent, parents, or guardian will have a more powerful effect than some mere metal or plastic toys. Actions speak far more than words because even the most elaborate or expensive toy cannot be an adequate replacement for your love and time. Experience the joy of your girl or boy regardless of the toy. This will your love show and be a valuable tool in helping him or her to grow. Males are treated far worse than females because they like certain items in the pink aisles with terms that are just as incorrect as "tomboy". These toys are baby dolls; fashion dolls; kitchen playsets; appliances such as mixers, vacuum cleaners, or shopping carts; and miniature doll houses. Those who are ready to pounce upon them do so without understanding. They are so programmed by tradition and the media that they don't take the time to listen to a reasonable argument. Parents want their boys to become old enough to own their own homes and be able to take care of those dwellings. They want them to get married and have children. They want them to be able to go to the store and buy their own groceries. Yet these same parents will refuse to let them explore those things through toys because somebody way in the past said that those things were for girls and not boys. These same parents will later on complain why their grown sons don't have their own homes; want to get married; have any children; or eat right. Who knows if maybe those toys would have helped them in a positive way along with them setting a proper example. Children are individuals and not generic forms of humanity that all have the same likes and dislikes when it comes to toy preferences. Some girls who find dolls and such ilk not stimulating gravitate toward toys created for boys such as video games,models, action figures, and so on. When someone says that only girls or sissies like to play with dolls and such as has been already mentioned, some males are confused because they like those things too. It is Society that has caused the confusion because it holds no exceptions to these strict standards. A girl that has no desire for motherhood cannot be changed by forcing her to only play with baby dolls when she only wants toys that suit her personality. When deprived of those toys because of ones own sex, can it not create in the mind of some child a wish to have been born the other gender? Could that be why some boys and girls assume the other gender's identity through the use of clothing, hair style, or mannerisms? Is this their way to excape from unrealistic boundaries? Not every female adult desires motherhood or should be a mother. Not every male adult desires fatherhood or should be a father. I've read much material on the internet dealing with message boards, clubs, home pages, and blogs where some women who had been given only dolls as kids now want nothing to do with real babies. They relate with glee stories of doll mutilations because they hated them so passionately. However, there were those women who did the same to their dolls as kids also who now proclaim themselves to be proud mothers. These are not just words of mine. Go to your computer and get on line. The same material is there for you too.

TOYING AROUND WITH GENDER--continued
Not all girls like the color pink as well as not all boys might not see blue as their favorite color. However to divert from these colors assumes that the individual or its parents is flawed because these are considered to be absolute identifications of gender and identity. These demands are placed without regard for freedom of choice. Toy Companies and tradition perpetuate standards that are rediculous and unreasonable in the choice of toys for both girls and boys. What interests the child isn't considered. The pink aisles seperates the male from the female. Those items are classified for females only. It matters not that some of that very gender have no desire for such things. If a male enters this location, his masculinity is immediately called into question. There are some items in there that all or most can agree upon as being for the female gender only. Dressup play clothes such as boas; as well as makeup like nail polish; and jewelry are worn by girls. However, the rest shouldn't be designated as such. Why do you give a child a toy? Is it for him or her to enjoy? Is it for them to explore this world through their imagination? Is it a bribe to solicite the desired behavior? Is it to help the child to become a better prepared individual for life? What are your motives? Some adults dread having to enter the toy department because they are repulsed by it all. The very word "toy" should be in my opinion associated with the word "joy". A toy that doesn't bring to the child joy tends to only anger and annoy.

TOYING AROUND WITH GENDER
This issue has been debated, outdated, and complicated because of several factors. I've given this topic much attention through my own personal view as well as searching the internet, reading books, and watching various educational and talk show related television programs over the past twenty eight years. One thing that eludes me is the color classification of gender. From birth traditional colors are blue for the males and pink for the females. Who came up with the idea? Why out of all the colors available did these two get chosen? When looking at a rainbow, do you differentiate one color as being more important than the others? If you reversed the color and dressed some infants who have similar features to the other gender today, how many would be able to decern which was which. On tv girl babies were used in the role of "Baby Bob" on CBS. It was taken for granted that it was a boy that we were watching. Amazing isn't it. First off, I am a male who has always been and always will be heterosexual. I do not nor ever will wear womens clothing, jewelry, or makeup. Pro Football is my number one sport behind basketball to watch. I've always liked girls from the age of three on up. I NEVER wanted to be one! If I was ever going to date one or marry one, I figured when only being the age of seven that I better get to know how to deal with then before being a teen or an adult. I guess I matured faster than most other boys. My atttraction to girls only affirmed in my mind my male gender. To establish these facts are important because when a male takes an opposing argument in such matters there's the assumption that the person is homosexual, effiminate, gender confused, or just ignorant. I hear rain now falling upon my roof. These words are simply the truth.